Here is next week’s horoscope for your sign.
It doesn’t matter when you read it, or which sign you are, as horoscopes are all made up.
I stand behind every one of my bad jokes and half-assed opinions. It’s almost like they’re exaggerated for comic effect.
I’m almost always joking. Even when I’m mean I still mean well.
Don’t tell anyone this as it’s a secret…
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